A conversation with a prospective host family is one of the most useful parts of preparing to become an au pair in China. It is not only a moment for a family to learn about you. It is also your chance to understand their routines, ask what support looks like, and decide whether the relationship could work in ordinary life as well as on a video call.
Think of it as a matching conversation rather than a formal employment interview. Everyone is trying to understand whether expectations, communication styles and family rhythm can meet respectfully. You do not need a perfect script. Honest preparation, clear examples and good questions will tell you far more than trying to sound impressive.
Understand the purpose of the conversation
A host family may want to learn about your personality, childcare experience, language goals and what you hope to gain from cultural exchange. You should be learning just as much about the family's day-to-day life. How does a normal weekday work? Who is usually at home? What kind of help do they expect? What will private time and communication look like?
The goal is not to agree quickly because everyone seems friendly. The goal is to make the future less vague. A thoughtful match gives both sides room to be themselves while being clear about the responsibilities they will share. For a wider overview of the process, see Become an Au Pair.
Prepare a natural introduction
Before the call, write a few notes rather than memorising a speech. Share where you are from, what you are studying or doing now, what you enjoy, why China interests you and what kind of relationship you hope to build with a family. You can mention hobbies that may connect with children, such as reading, drawing, music, sport, cooking or outdoor activities, but only when they are genuinely yours.
Keep the tone warm and simple. A family is not looking for a polished advertisement. They need to imagine talking with you at breakfast, making plans on a busy afternoon and resolving a small misunderstanding calmly. Speaking in your own words makes that easier.
Bring specific childcare examples
Families often want to know how you have spent time with children. Think of two or three real examples: helping a younger sibling with homework, leading a game, tutoring, volunteering, babysitting or caring for children in another setting. Explain what you did, the age range involved and what you learned. Do not overstate experience you do not have.
It can also help to say what you would like to learn. Perhaps you are comfortable with creative activities but want more confidence with routines, or you enjoy language games but have not worked with very young children. Honest limits give a family a clearer picture and make it easier to agree on appropriate support.
Talk through daily routines before they become assumptions
A good discussion moves beyond broad phrases such as "helping with children." Ask what morning, after-school and evening routines actually look like. Some families may need companionship during English practice, a school pickup, playtime, reading together or support while a parent is nearby. Others may have a different pattern. The arrangement should be clear before you match.
Ask how plans are usually shared and what happens when a child's schedule changes. Find out whether weekends are generally family time, personal time or a mixture. A normal week is much more useful to picture than an idealised one.
Discuss home life with the same care
Living with a family involves practical details that matter to your wellbeing. Ask about your room, bathroom arrangement, meals, laundry, household spaces, transport and the neighbourhood. If you have allergies, dietary needs, mobility needs or a regular activity that is important to you, say so early. These topics are not awkward when they are raised kindly; they are part of making an informed decision.
Family routines vary by city, household and work schedule. The Host Families page offers context on the kind of preparation that helps both sides feel ready.
Communication and language expectations
Ask which languages are used at home and what level of English practice the family hopes for. You can also explain your current Mandarin level and how you would like to learn. Language growth is most sustainable when it fits real life: a few phrases at meals, a class, a conversation with a neighbour or patient repetition with a child.
It is useful to agree on how to raise an issue. Would the family prefer a quick message, a planned conversation after dinner, or something else? Different people communicate differently, so a shared habit can prevent small confusion from becoming a larger problem.
What questions should I ask a host family during an Au Pair interview?
Ask questions that reveal the ordinary shape of life together: the child's routine, your responsibilities, private space, meals, communication, transport, free time and how the family handles changes. Direct but considerate questions help both sides decide whether expectations are clear enough for a respectful match.
15 Questions to Ask Your Chinese Host Family
- What does a typical weekday look like for your family?
- What would you like me to help with during a normal week?
- How old are the children, and what do they enjoy doing?
- Who will be the main person I communicate with about daily plans?
- How do you usually share schedule changes or important information?
- What languages are spoken at home, and what English practice do you hope for?
- What personal time can I usually expect, and how should I plan weekends?
- What are your expectations for evenings, overnight trips and visitors?
- Will I have a private room, and how are shared spaces usually used?
- How do meals work in your household, including dietary needs?
- How would I get around the neighbourhood or city for agreed activities?
- What is the child's school and homework routine like?
- What qualities would help someone fit well into your family?
- How do you prefer to handle a misunderstanding or concern?
- What would make you feel that the exchange is going well after the first month?
Notice unclear expectations and ask again
A positive conversation can still contain gaps. Pay attention if responsibilities are described very broadly, if different answers conflict, or if questions about privacy, schedules or support are repeatedly avoided. This does not automatically mean a family is unsuitable, but it does mean you need another clear conversation before deciding.
Likewise, be transparent if something does not fit you. It is better to say that you need a predictable schedule, a private study time or clear guidance around childcare than to agree now and struggle later. A matching decision should make both sides feel understood, not pressured.
Follow up while the details are fresh
After the call, write down what you learned and any questions that remain. A short thank-you message can acknowledge the time the family shared and confirm the next step. If a second conversation is planned, use it to revisit the practical points rather than starting from the beginning again.
A second call can also include another family member, a child where appropriate, or a clearer walk-through of a weekday routine. You may feel more relaxed the second time. That is useful because a strong match should feel possible not only in the first enthusiastic conversation, but in a calmer, more detailed one too.
Choose the match that supports real life
The right conversation will not answer every future question, but it should leave you with a realistic picture of the home and a sense that you can communicate openly. Read Student Stories for perspectives on daily family life, then use the FAQ or Contact when you need help understanding a practical next step.